The Story of Hagrid: Part Two

He stood overtop of me and I stared up at him from my seat. Like a single shining star in the blackness of space, that golden thong twinkled like a diamond in the sky. I felt my curiosity gain control over my inhibitions and with a single swift move, my hand reached for the precious golden jewels. It was velcrow (well, actually it was something entirely different, but to those muggles reading this now, we will just refer to it as velcrow) that concealed everything.

At that moment, the engorged vessel seemed to grow in size way beyond any natural possibilities. Why Hogwartz didn't bother teaching the students this nifty magic trick seemed absurd. I have to admit what happened next was rather disappointing. I didn't even have time to open my mouth to express my feelings for the moment when I was thrown on the bed and on my back. On my back, on my stomach, and laying in positions I would have thought would have broken my own back, the screams of pain seemed to echo all the way into the forbidden forest, with the cries of the wolves answerng me back.

I gazed up at Hagrid, who was holding a three pronged device in his massive hands tenderly. He stroked the grey device on the hind quarters and it made a noise that only "it" can make when it is stroked. Hagrid chortled, guffawed and then began......humping, but not without the machines assistance. In fact, Hagrid must have used some unknown spell because the sensation that the crack in my butt seperated and became two was all too apparent. I buried my face in my hands and began dry heaving. The display that was going on was like a strange nightmare that became a wet dream before I even realized what was happening. I took a firm grasp of my wand of love and began to tickle Hagrid. His moany-groany noise was all my doing and I sure answered that. I moaned in reply, beating it like it was my job.

I left Hagrid's cabin that night dripping with four different substances, some liquid and some halfway between a liquid and solid. I found out three valuable lessons that night that were far more important than any examination.

#1. Whenever anything that large is put in a place not accustomed, stains are likely to become an embarressment over the next few weeks.
#2. Teethmarks can be good in some places, but not in sensitive areas or areas that can tear skin off.
#3. The pubes of a giant can get stuck in your teeth for weeks.