Rut of Depression

It's been almost two months since my last post. Part of the reason it's been so long is that I've been busy but mostly it's because I logged out one day and forgot the password to log back in. Well, I remember it now, so I'm back.

My life currently sucks. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being suicidal and 10 being orgasmic, I give myself a 3.2. Well, I'm living in a city that I know longer get a thril from. I have 7 friends in this city. 2 of which I work with but after they leave next week, I may lose the only 2 people who have truly understood me. Some of my best friends who have known me for 5-10 years don't understand me as well as these 2. I have 3 friends that I typically see at least once a week. We go out for drinks, Friday or Saturday, so I'm thankful I have that but that leaves 5-6 days of isolation most nights. Then, there are 2 other friends. These 2 I see maybe once every couple months. Anyways, I need to get out and meet more people, but I don't know where to go. I'm not interested in just going to the bars. I want to discover real things to do, however with winter approaching, that limits a lot of possibilities. As willing as I would like to believe I am, I have doubts that I will find things to do. I'm just too busy somedays with school to get a hobby. Hopefully, I can just concentrate on my education, graduate in May '07 and then move out of this state. Either way, this is going to be a rather depressing 8 months ahead.

I'm in a relationship now but lately, things don't seem to be working anymore. I don't think he is putting in much effort and although he's a nice guy, it's probably almost over. Considerng I want to move next year, it's over anyways. I don't like breaking up with people. I don't like hurting the other person although the last 3 people I felt guilty about dumping, they turned right around and showed me their evil side which makes me wonder why I feel so bad now if this might be another one of those situations. Oh well, on a brighter note, Chirstina Aguilera's new CD is great and gets better with each listen.

I could continue this rant, talk about how dirty and slobbish my roommate is but I'll save that for another time. With any luck, maybe I'll move in with a friend around November and things will go from a 3.2 up to a 5.0. Let's wait and hope for the best.